Monday 4 June 2007

Gods wrath - Part 4

It seem that the real God, offended at being associated with the false Gods, took his revenge by revealing to Mr Fry in one sensational, ethereal and spontaneous experience that there is a man standing in the hallway and making an infernal racket.
Mr Fry stood up distracted, not exactly the epitome of a typical driven Biblical Prophet, (there was a distinct lack of silk waistcoats in those days anyways), but still a man inspired is not to be stopped. He marched upstairs, stumping his snooker cue ahead of him.
"Took your bloody time getting here didn't you" he announced, gloriously unperturbed by the sight of an armed intruder. Mr Fry's voice had a curious multi-layered aspect to it, which, coupled with his educated accent, gave his speech a rich, aromatic almost spicy flavour.
This synaesthesia didn't go down well with the crestfallen Mr Beedle, who was going through agony. Here was a situation where the man he was supposed to kill, was aware of him, and more alarmingly seemed to have expected him. And he didn't seem to appreciate that the weaponry was in his hand either.
"Put that knife away, you silly little git" he continued brusquely, " we have a lot to get through tonight". He approached Mr Beedle and grasped him firmly by his arm and proceeded onwards towards the staircase, half-dragging the dazed Mr Beedle with him, cue still in hand.
"Your father did a great service to me once - and I promised I would repay him. Never thought it would be like this mind you," he chuckled to himself as they arrived on the landing.
The landing was dimly lit, and Mr Beedle's sense of alarm and rancour to the Gods increased. He vehemently promised himself to never seek divine intervention into his miserable life ever again. "Stands to reason that with my life being so miserable, even an improvement will only take it to a slightly less miserableness, the effect of which on me is as if its got more miserable, who is expecting something good, he thought to himself."
While this empirical analysis of the "Beadleability" scale of miserableness was continuing, Mr Fry had arrived at the correct door, and pushing open the door with the butt of his cue, he continued into the room carrying Mr Beadle with him.
"Hand over your knife" Mr Fry demanded sharply to the astonished Mr Beadle.
"B-but why?" asked the gentleman in question.
"Because if you don't" he said, raising his voice as if talking to a particularly unruly pupil, and approaching threateningly with his cue stick held aloft, "this cue will perpetrate unseen atrocities on your poor little skull, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I dont think you want that".
The knife exchanged hands. Mr Fry promptly stabbed himself in the arm.
"WHAAHT!"Shrieked the distressed Mr Beadle.
"Calm down lad" snapped Mr Fry,"And come over here and smear this over yourself" he said proferring his bleeding arm. Mr Beadle deciding that this was a more-vivid-than-normal dream, complied with equanimity. Mr Fry quickly went over to the window and wiped the knife on the curtain. He then proceeded to liberally douse the floor, table and a leather chair with the still bleeding arm.
"No point doing things in halves I always say" he said smiling at Mr Beadle
for the first time, who in keeping with his recent accept of the vagaries of life, smiled back and did nothing else.
Mr Fry next headed over to a wardrobe in the corner and stooped over to retrieve a hankerchief from the floor, and tie it around his cut. He then stood up and extracted a black bomber jacket, a baseball cap, jeans and a pair of plain black trainers, and quickly dressed himself in it.
"Okay, I'm off. I want you to use this first... successful mission of yours to further yourself in your profession." he winked as he said the word "successful" and headed to the door.
"Wait, what do I do?" asked Mr Beadle having accepted that there was going to be no killing taking place today.
"Don't be stupid lad" said Mr Fry reverting to his waspish tone "make a getaway".
with that he disappeared through the door leaving behind a dazed Mr Beadle staring after him.

End of Chapter 1

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